Stand up? Sit down.

I bet you have to be desperate for approval to be good at stand up comedy?

I'm not, I could never be good at it for that reason.

I'm funny, my friends and family think so anyway. I think so, but if I tried, and failed I would probably just turn mean. Which is about half "my funny" to begin with?

I can tell funny stories, but not jokes so much. I need something to play off of to be funny, and some context otherwise people think I'm just a bitch. (Which is compounded by the fact that I am.)

I think Don Rickles was the last great insult comic, I don't think you can do that anymore and get away with it, everyone is far too easily offended on other people's behalf. (Which is a thing we shouldn't allow, you shouldn't be able to be offended on someone else's behalf.)

At this point you could only make fun of straight white guys, maybe the occasional straight white chick. No matter how careful you were in going after people in ways which weren't racist, someone would get offended.

Which might be funny at first, but if you don't share it around, and go after everyone, then insult comedy quickly turns into bullying, and instead of fierce and fearless you seem weak, and impotent.

I think the fun of watching Don Rickles must have been laughing at him, and at the people, he went after, while being relieved it wasn't you that he was going after.

If an insult comic can't go after everyone then it just wouldn't be funny very long.

Triumph was an insult comic, but he was a dog, and a puppet and he was mostly reduced to doing poop jokes.

The thing that made Conan and Letterman funny was that they weren't *quite* funny all the time, in a specific way, which eventually becomes very funny.

Letterman was also funny because he pretended to be on the edge of being out of control, of his show, of his mouth, and his temper. Which is funny if you do it right.